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Dickens, Charles, 1812-1870

"Martin Chuzzlewit"

You ain't seen the old lady's
name in the Gazette, have you?'
'No,' returned the barber. 'Is she a bankrupt?'
'If she ain't, she will be,' retorted Bailey. 'That bis'ness never can
be carried on without ME. Well! How are you?'
'Oh! I'm pretty well,' said Poll. 'Are you living at this end of the
town, or were you coming to see me? Was that the bis'ness that brought
you to Holborn?'
'I haven't got no bis'ness in Holborn,' returned Bailey, with some
displeasure. 'All my bis'ness lays at the West End. I've got the right
sort of governor now. You can't see his face for his whiskers, and can't
see his whiskers for the dye upon 'em. That's a gentleman ain't it? You
wouldn't like a ride in a cab, would you? Why, it wouldn't be safe to
offer it. You'd faint away, only to see me a-comin' at a mild trot round
the corner.'
To convey a slight idea of the effect of this approach, Mr Bailey
counterfeited in his own person the action of a high-trotting horse and
threw up his head so high, in backing against a pump, that he shook his
hat off.
'Why, he's own uncle to Capricorn,' said Bailey, 'and brother to
Cauliflower.


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