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Dickens, Charles, 1812-1870

"Martin Chuzzlewit"


'En--tirely so,' remarked the colonel.
'Pray,' said Martin, after some hesitation, 'may I venture to ask,
with reference to a case I observe in this paper of yours, whether the
Popular Instructor often deals in--I am at a loss to express it without
giving you offence--in forgery? In forged letters, for instance,' he
pursued, for the colonel was perfectly calm and quite at his ease,
'solemnly purporting to have been written at recent periods by living
men?'
'Well, sir!' replied the colonel. 'It does, now and then.'
'And the popular instructed--what do they do?' asked Martin.
'Buy 'em:' said the colonel.
Mr Jefferson Brick expectorated and laughed; the former copiously, the
latter approvingly.
'Buy 'em by hundreds of thousands,' resumed the colonel. 'We are a smart
people here, and can appreciate smartness.'
'Is smartness American for forgery?' asked Martin.
'Well!' said the colonel, 'I expect it's American for a good many things
that you call by other names. But you can't help yourself in Europe. We
can.'
'And do, sometimes,' thought Martin. 'You help yourselves with very
little ceremony, too!'
'At all events, whatever name we choose to employ,' said the colonel,
stooping down to roll the third empty bottle into a corner after the
other two, 'I suppose the art of forgery was not invented here sir?'
'I suppose not,' replied Martin.


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