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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"Not that it Matters"

And so let my stick have a handle
heavy and straight, and let there be no ferrule on the end. Be
sure that I have an old golf ball in my pocket.
In London one is not so particular. Chiefly we want a stick for
leaning on when we are talking to an acquaintance suddenly met.
After the initial "Hulloa!" and the discovery that we have
nothing else of importance to say, the situation is distinctly
eased by the remembrance of our stick. It gives us a support
moral and physical, such as is supplied in a drawing-room by a
cigarette. For this purpose size and shape are immaterial. Yet
this much is essential--it must not be too slippery, or in our
nervousness we may drop it altogether. My ebony stick with the
polished ivory top--
But I have already decided that my ebony stick is out of place
with the everyday hat. It stands in its corner waiting for the
opera season, I must get another stick for rough work.


The Diary Habit

A newspaper has been lamenting the decay of the diary-keeping
habit, with the natural result that several correspondents have
written to say that they have kept diaries all their lives. No
doubt all these diaries now contain the entry, "Wrote to the
Daily ---- to deny the assertion that the diary-keeping habit is
on the wane." Of such little things are diaries made.
I suppose this is the reason why diaries are so rarely kept
nowadays--that nothing ever happens to anybody.


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