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Wilson, Harry Leon, 1867-1939

"Ruggles of Red Gap"

'
Last chance and first chance for a peg, do you see what I mean? I
tried it out; walked both ways under the sign and looked up; it worked
perfectly. Enter the settlement, 'First Chance'; leave the settlement,
'Last Chance.' Do you see what I mean? Suggestive, what! Witty! You'd
never have expected that murderer-Johnny to be so subtle. Our own
murderers aren't that way. I say, it's a tremendous wheeze. I wonder
the press-chaps don't take it up. It's better than the blind factory,
though the chap's mother or something is blind. What ho! But that's
silly! To be sure one has nothing to do with the other. I say, have
another, you chaps! I've not felt so fit in ages. I'm going to take up
America!"
Plainly it was no occasion to use serious words to the man. He slapped
his companions smartly on their backs and was slapped in turn by all
of them. One or two of them called him an old horse! Not only was I
doing no good for the North Side set, but I had felt obliged to
consume two glasses of spirits that I did not wish. So I discreetly
withdrew. As I went, the Honourable George was again telling them that
he was "going in" for North America, and Cousin Egbert was calling
"Three rousing cheers!"
Thus luridly began, I may say, a scandal that was to be far-reaching
in its dreadful effects.


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