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Wilson, Harry Leon, 1867-1939

"Ruggles of Red Gap"

Her child, I regret to say, was still
grossly overfed, seldom having its face free from jam or other smears.
It persisted, moreover, in twisting my name into "Ruggums," which I
found not a little embarrassing.
The night of my opening found me calmly awaiting the triumph that was
due me. As some one has said of Napoleon, I had won my battle in my
tent before the firing of a single shot. I mean to say, I had looked
so conscientiously after details, even to assuring myself that Cousin
Egbert and the Honourable George would appear in evening dress, my
last act having been to coerce each of them into purchasing varnished
boots, the former submitting meekly enough, though the Honourable
George insisted it was a silly fuss.
At seven o'clock, having devoted a final inspection to the kitchen
where the female raccoon was well on with the dinner, and having noted
that the members of my staff were in their places, I gave a last
pleased survey of my dining-room, with its smartly equipped tables,
flower-bedecked, gleaming in the softened light from my shaded
candlesticks. Truly it was a scene of refined elegance such as Red Gap
had never before witnessed within its own confines, and I had seen to
it that the dinner as well would mark an epoch in the lives of these
simple but worthy people.


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