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Ryder, Annie H

"Hold Up Your Heads, Girls! : Helps for Girls, in School and Out"

I might tremblingly suggest, however, that love, health,
and virtue having been seriously contemplated, there should be few,
if any, hindrances to marriage; for out of this trinity will spring
patience, courage, industry, joy, and all that is needful to united
lives.
If you think my suggestion lacks the significance of experience, why,
hunt up some of the best authorities on the subject. William Penn was
a very moral kind of a man, and experienced in the art of living; and,
like a true Quaker, he put a negative wherever one was needed. He said,
"Never marry but for love, but see thou lovest what is lovely." Only
two conditions, you note; but on them hangs the destiny of all the
future. It is certainly right for you to think of marriage, to regard
it joyfully, yet so as with a serious joy. But girls, dear girls, do
not inflame your hearts with the visions of married life which are
so frequently delineated in the prevalent fiction of the day. You will
be happier without all that extravagance of romantic affection which
fills circulating libraries. Do not read the trash: it will make you
expect too much; it will make real life seem insignificant; it will
cause you to be more and more susceptible in the presence of young
men; it will blot leaves in your book of life which ought to be all
white; it will make truth fictitious; it will lead to temptation,--to
death.


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