We ought to forbear inflicting the discomfort of our
peculiarities on our friends, or of requiring too much love for what
we give,--too much intelligence to meet our mental acquirements. We
should forbear asking for a change of opinion, or an unsettling of
conviction, and certainly should refrain from making a bad use of our
intimacy with one another. Be deaf and dumb and blind to all attempts
to draw from you the secrets which another has committed to your charge.
Conformity is no less important than forbearance. We should adapt
ourselves more to the tastes, habits, and dispositions of our friends.
Of course, we are not to comply with what will work them and us harm.
Girls agree to certain customs in the main; dress as their mates do;
and, if this or that fashion prevails, follow it, when it is not too
ridiculous,--perhaps some do even when it is absurd. When the majority
of girls wear bangs and bangles, you wear them; and when the most wear
skirts somewhat less than two yards around, why, I suppose you do,
don't you? That is all right; but let it never be forgotten that, in
conforming to general usage, you may still preserve your own
personality. When bustles and French heels jostle with your
individuality, let them go, but save yourselves.
How is it we so easily follow after fashion and custom, suffer physical
and mental pangs on account of them, and yet find it so hard to conform
with the notions and individual traits of our friends? Just here,
however, we are reminded that we are not to so agree with our friends,
even, as to lose ourselves.
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