Is it not
better to break one's heart than to break one's soul?
My dear girls,--I would not say it were I not obliged to do so,--you
seem the least conscientious in making friends, rarely thinking how
grave and yet how sweet a joy a friendship is. In the first place,
you seize upon a friendship as though it were something to be worn
already made, like a new bonnet which pleases you. No matter what the
girl is, she suits your present whims; so your swear an eternal
friendship with her, when you do not begin to realize that real
friendship depends upon time and growth,--that it consists largely in a
mutual finding out of two persons.
Then, again, you frequently choose friends for some material advantage
to yourselves. Do you think you ought to do that? You see something
in a girl which you believe will promote your interests: perhaps she
is in society a good deal; maybe she is very bright and sharp at
repartee; possibly she is stylish, and absorbed in dress; perhaps her
father has money, or she has an eligible brother,--at any rate, she can
advance your purposes in one way or another, so you presume to make her
your friend. Now you know you ought to value friendship for just its
sake alone. If you are to make a friend, do so because you cannot
honestly help it, and no strong reason exists why you should help it.
Naturally, like chooses like: some point of beauty, some mark of
excellence, some trait of character, will draw us to another, because
these things exist in ourselves, though undeveloped, or because we
wish them to so exist; so friendship will spring up and flourish till
it ripens into love.
Pages:
117
118
119
120
121
122
123
124
125
126
127
128
129
130
131
132
133
134
135
136
137
138
139
140
141