When this has not been taken, and a girl is therefore
unkind to her social inferiors out of fear of what rumor will say,--"the
fume of little hearts,"--I blush for an indecent girlhood, and I grieve
for an unpromising, unchristian womanhood. We know that encouragement,
not intimacy, the gentle rebuke of a bow or a greeting, are more helpful
to arouse the sparks of womanliness than the cold stare or averted
head. Next to the respect of woman for woman, comes the regard of woman
for man,--a deference (when physical, mental, or spiritual strength
in man demand) that is due from her who, constituted differently, has
greater power to pay respect and gratitude, to honor and love.
Gentlemanly boys and men have a right to expect you to be refined,
courteous, agreeable towards them in all the ways of ladyhood,--not that
they are your superiors, but your helpers: made after a different
pattern, but still your sincere friends.
The womanly in girls implies the lady, no doubt, more than the manly
in man indicates the gentleman. We ought always to find in girls that
gentleness and delicacy of manner, that minute attention to the comforts
of others, that visible respect towards others, so agreeable and so
refining in all circles. Marguerite de Valois wrote, "Gentleness,
cheerfulness, and urbanity are the Three Graces of manners." I believe
they bear a close relation to ladylike deportment.
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