In fact, make
each one with whom you come in contact realize that you care for him
and what he specially does. Just put yourselves into the places of
others, and the words will take care of themselves.
The intellect is not such a supreme factor in conversation as the points
of character I have so far named. Mr. Mathews, in his "Great
Conversers," writes, "The character has as much to do with the
colloquial power as has the intellect; the temperament, feelings, and
animal spirits even more, perhaps, than the mental gifts." I add this
remark from De Quincy: "More will be done for the benefit of
conversation by the simple magic of good manners (that is, chiefly
by a system of forbearance) applied to the besetting vices of social
intercourse than ever _was_ or _can_ be done by all varieties of
intellectual power assembled upon the same arena."
But there are certain things the mind must do in connection with the
disposition. Concentrating the thoughts is one of these things,--very
hard for young or old to acquire. Persons resort to very queer methods
to obtain it,--some scratch their heads, others rub their chins. I
have seen a public speaker try to wreak thoughts out of a watch-chain.
Another jerked at the rear pockets of his swallow-tailed coat to pick
out a thought there. You know the story Walter Scott tells about the
head boy? He always fumbled over a particular button when he recited;
so, one day, the button being furtively removed by Walter, the boy
became abstracted, and Scott passed above him.
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