This news having been conveyed to
another fancied fleet that is covering a convoy of ships, imagined to
be attempting to land corn, that they have brought from ports across
the Atlantic, simultaneously at Pegwell Bay, Margate, and the Isle
of Dogs, it is again supposed that, acting under sealed orders,
they elude the enemy, and dividing their forces, make for Gravesend,
Liverpool, Dundee, "The Welsh Harp" at Hendon, and Yarmouth. The
problem, therefore, presented to Admiral FLYOFF, who is in command of
the defending squadrons, will be, after utilising the supposed coast
defences, and mining the Serpentine, to force the enemy to accept
the issue of an open action on the Regent's Canal, and the Ornamental
Water at the Crystal Palace. Failing this, it will be left to the
Umpires, who, being supposed to be in several places at the same time,
will be provided with a tricycle, fog-horn, and telescope, to enable
them to adjudge the exact amount of success or failure following
respectively on each effort, with as near a resemblance as is possible
to the probable issues in real warfare. Any matters remaining in
dispute and undecided, will be ultimately settled by the First Lord,
who will toss up with a two-headed halfpenny, specially provided for,
in the Estimates, for the purpose.
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