But first I would remark that it is not a prudent plan
For any culinary gent to flout his fellow-man;
And, if a colleague can't agree with his peculiar whim,
To wait on that same colleague, and trip up the heels of him.
Now nothing could be nicer, or more beautiful to see.
Than the first three years' proceedings of our Cooks (and we had three),
Till JOACHIM (of Goshen) made a dish (of devilled bones),
Which he flaunted in the face of ARTHUR B. with swelling tones.
Then ARTHUR made an _entree_; he constructed it with care,
And he vowed that e'en APICIUS would have owned it rich and rare.
And when JOACHIM protested that "soup first" was a fixed rule,
ARTHUR B. insinuated that his colleague was a mule.
And then he smiled a languid smile; sneering was ARTHUR'S fault,
And he had one squirmy snigger which was worse than an assault.
He was a most sarcastic man, this languid ARTHUR B.,
And he aimed at being _Chef_, which JOKIM said was fiddlededee.
Now I hold it's not the duty of a culinary gent
To say his colleague is a Moke--at least to all intent;
Nor should the individual who happens to be meant
Reply by chucking crockery to any great extent.
Then Number Three Cook tried to raise an ill-done _roti_, when
He tripped o'er ARTHUR'S heels, and fell upon his abdomen;
And presently the various _plats_ were mingled on the floor;
And the subsequent proceedings let us draw a curtain o'er.
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