* * * * *
What a hypocrite I had been! But I had obtained what I sought--a room
alone. But now I must, in truth, study the Greek Testament and
Horace....
I figured out that if I enrolled for several extra Bible courses the
Faculty would be easier on me with my other studies, and let me cut some
of them out entirely.
To make myself even more "solid," I gave out that I had been persuaded
to Christianity so strongly, of a sudden, that I contemplated studying
for the ministry. I even wrote my grandmother that this was what I
intended to do. And her simple, pious letter in return, prayerful with
thanks to God for my conversion so signal--in secret cut me to the
heart....
But it gave me a temporary pleasure, now, to be looked upon as "safe."
To be openly welcomed at prayer-meetings ... I acted, how I acted, the
ardent convert ... and how frightened I was, at myself, to find that, at
times, I believed that I believed!...
My former back-sliding was forgiven me.
And the passage of Tennyson about "one honest doubt" being more than
half the creeds, was quoted in my favour.
* * * * *
Field-day!...
* * * * *
I entered for the two-mile, to be run off in the morning ... for the
half-mile, the first thing in the afternoon ... the mile, which was to
be the last event, excepting the hammer-throw.
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